I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
