That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
