Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I just googled if crying burns calories
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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