the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
