spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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