Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
