foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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