The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
