I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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