just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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