Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
