i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
