She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
