biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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