Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Randomize
