dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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