just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
