I skipped work to stalk him.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
