drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
