if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
someone owes me an orgasm
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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