Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
