It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
