Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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