There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Randomize
