The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
