Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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