i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
