highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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