Just fell off a train. Bad.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
