Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
