hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
