ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm just crazy horny about you
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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