i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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