I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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