Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Couch. On fire.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
