Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
That accounts for only three of the penises
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
We smell like vodka and hangover
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
