I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
