I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
