hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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