If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Randomize
