I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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