Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
