Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
