He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
