Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
