I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
