he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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