a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
