I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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