Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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