I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
