Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
